KMU English Conversation II Week 4 Homework: Example & Corrections

October 4, 2009

One of the students submitted the following report regarding cell phone culture in two countries: Korea and Japan.  This student did a good job, but I decided to post their homework here along with my suggestions for corrects.  The lines followed by the “O:” are the original report lines.  My corrections follow the “C:” in the following:

O: Almost korean have a cell phone.

C: Almost every Korean has a cell phone.

O: Wherever public spaces, there are many people using phone.

C: In all public spaces, there are many people using these wireless phones.

O: As korea phone using rate is too high, many problem usually happen.

C: Since Korea’s phone usage rate is extremely high, there are many problems as a result.

O: These days, school principal claim that student using phone is prohibited.

C: These days, school principals have prohibited the use of cell phones in school.

O: And, many public campaign suggest that we set up manner mode phone in subway and bus etc.

C: Moreover, there are many public campaigns suggesting that we set our phones to the “manner mode” when using public transportation like subways or buses.

O: Compare with other country, our cell phone etiquette quality is very low.

C: Compared with other countries, there are very few rules regarding cell phone etiquette.

O: We usually call loudly. And here and there, phone is belling.

C: We usally speak loudly when using our phones and we don’t worry too much about our phones’ loud ringers in public.

O: What a noisy places !

C: What noisy devices!

O: But, closed nation, Japan, have very different habit.

C: However, a more conservative nation like Japan has different behavior when it comes to cell phones.

O: Japan also developed cell phones, but cell phone etiquette is very strict.

C: While Japan has a high level of cell phone usage and their market is quite developed, their cell phone etiquette may be considered more strict.

O: They can’t imagine calling loudly in public spaces.

C: The Japanese can’t even imagine speaking too loudly in public spaces.

O: They even think that writing text message in public traffic is very rude. Even then a little sound, it is said to feel cheap.

C: They even think that writing text messages in public spaces is very rude. Even when their phones make relatively quiet sounds, they still consider it somewhat unpleasant.

O: However, both country have a similar thing.

C: However, both countries share one similarity when it comes to cell phones.

O: It is active that using age is down.

C: The usage age is low.

One Response to “KMU English Conversation II Week 4 Homework: Example & Corrections”

  1. hello. I will compare about cell phone about merits and

    demerits.

    First. cell phone have many advantage. If you have harshly

    hurt, have ackward condition. you can use this. and If you

    want to call friend or family. you can call them in any way.

    or we can send message other people.

    also it’s not end. since 3~4 years ago. we can play game,

    take picture, hear music. and if you have an antenna. you can

    watch television.

    but cell phone have many disavantage. first If you put cell

    phone in your pocket. you will receive electromagnetic waves.

    this is not good, specially man. because electromagnetic

    waves destroy your sperm. and If you use in public place,

    many people disturbed by cell phone.

    cell phone have many advantage and disadvantage(side

    effect). but I think that if people use cell phone carefully. cell

    phone will bring many effects.

    I’m sorry too late.

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